Do You Commit These Kissing Faux Pas?


It’s said that everyone over the age of 25 has a kissing horror story. Think wandering tongues and sucking lips. Cast your mind back to your snogging adventures, and you too can probably pick out a moment when a kiss was more turn-off than turn-on.

What none of us ever think, however, is that we could be somebody’s kissing horror story. Out there in a bar somewhere, an ex of ours could very well be making a joke about how we once tried to ‘eat their face off.’

The horror.

Truth is, there are many faux pas when it comes to kissing, and many people commit them without knowing. What are these faux pas? Glad you asked…

Too Much Tongue

If we were to create a list featuring the top-ten kissing mistakes, too much tongue would secure top spot with ease. There are no guidelines when it comes to kissing, so everyone is left to improvise. Sadly, for some, getting the tongue ratio right is too difficult to manage and they end up ruining what would be a wonderful moment by barging into the other person’s mouth full-tongued. Ugh.

As a general rule, tongue should be treated like spice: Too little is better than too much.

Repetitive Tongue Movements

Kissing is rather weird when you think about it. It involves putting your tongue into another person’s mouth. What is it supposed to be doing once it’s in there?

In an attempt to turn kissing into a science, rather than an art, some people use the same tongue movements when locked in an embrace in order to mechanize the whole process.

Not only is kissing like this monotonous, it’s unimaginative, and makes us wonder how you even got somebody from the opposite sex to agree to a date with you. If you’re somebody who swirls… and swirls… and swirls… stop! Mix it up a bit.

Bad Breath

Bad breath will turn off your partner before you’ve even had the chance to put your tongue into their mouth. Nobody wants to share an embrace with somebody unable to take care of basic hygiene.

Bad breath isn’t always something the average person is aware of either, which means people have committed this faux pas without realizing. If you drink a lot of coffee or wine, or eat strong-scented foods, you may have been a bad-breath kisser at some point in your life.

The solution to this? Carry gum, of course.

Getting Too Frisky

Having your bottom grabbed as soon as you touch lips with another person isn’t always as sexy as it sounds. A kiss isn’t always a prelude to sex. Sometimes it says, I’ve missed you, I love you, or I appreciate you.

Those who use a kiss as a chance to get some hand action risk coming across as creepy. Wait and see what your partner does before reaching for those good parts.

Too Much Mouth

A kiss is something of an adventure. It’s a chance to explore another’s body in a way you couldn’t do any other way. What a kiss isn’t, however, is a police stop and search. You don’t have to open your mouth as wide as possible.

Not only does this ruin the intimacy of the kiss, it also encourages your partner to mess up their rhythm. They may also start to worry you actually intend to eat them.

And Finally, Playing Dead

What’s great about love and romance is the amazing feeling we feel when it’s reciprocated. It feels like basking in the sunlight on a warm summer’s day.

When kissing, this reciprocation is also important. A kiss should be playful; it should be expressive. Holding still and letting your partner do all of the work probably isn’t fun for you, and it definitely isn’t fun for them. Maybe you’re tired, in which case, get more sleep in future. Maybe you’re nervous and don’t want to screw up the kiss. If this is the case, avoid the faux pas on this list, and you’ll be fine.

Please, ladies and gents, express yourself!


One thought on “Do You Commit These Kissing Faux Pas?”

  1. My first horror kiss was with a french lad I had met on holiday. He had the looks of a god but the breath of an ogre. It seemed like he ate garlic for breakfast dinner and tea, and smoked forty cigarettes a day whilst gargling sea weed. But the sex was great when I managed to stay away from his breath.

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